Sometimes when I’m awake in the middle of the night, having just fed Oscar a bottle and unable to fall back asleep, I’ll go online and waste time. Last night, I played the old google-me game that most people engage in occasionally but that everyone’s too embarrassed, rightly, to talk about. Among the Michelle Richmonds of the world, I found this engineer who spoke at the Women’s Engineering Conference and who is clearly brainier than I:

Michelle Richmond, after-dinner speaker, inspired members with the story of how despite leaving full-time education at 16, she now led a team of 60 engineers and was responsible for building the antenna on the Ariane satellite.

While on my better days I can identify an antenna, I’d be hard pressed to build one.

Another Michelle Richmond–from Misssissippi– aimed a little lower: she was 4th runner up in the 1988 Miss USA Pageant. I understand wholeheartedly the pursuit of mediocrity, and I tip my tiara to her.

There’s also a Michelle Richmond who’s a Tupperware Consultant in Ballengee, WV. So if you’re in West Virginia and need a bowl with a lid that snaps on, you know who to call.

I realize, of course, that this is all very pathetic. A hipper me would have taken the occasion of slumber interuptus to go out clubbing or wash the car or work on my platform for the Miss A-Wee-Bit-Chubby USA pageant.

The Exercise:
Write about an alternate life you might have lived if you were a)smarter or b)hotter.