Five Things I Love (& 5 I Can Do Without)

Jif not Skippy

Five Things I Love 3

Five Things I Love, part 3. When I tried to think of five things I love, Jif was one of the first that came to mind. It’s the first brand I remember feeling choosy about. Maybe those ads during the after-school specials got to me. When they said “Choosy mothers choose Jif,” I imagined my mother loved me or didn’t based on whether she bought the good peanut butter. (Fact: she only bought what was on sale).

Jif is salty, Skippy is sweet. Peanuts are salty. Salty is so, so good. Therefore, as the lady in the commercial says, “Jif really does taste better!”

My favorite way to eat Jif is straight out of the jar, with a spoon.

My second favorite way to eat Jif is to slice a banana down the middle, slather one half with Jif, then put the two halves back together.

My third favorite way to eat Jif is to dip a rectangle of a Hershey bar in it, lick the peanut butter off, then dip again. (For this, it is best to spoon some Jif onto your plate, rather than double-dipping in the jar).

My fourth and final way to eat Jif is the Elvis sandwich, which I’ve been eating since I was little. Here’s how to make an Elvis sandwich. You’ll need two slices of white bread, butter, Jif, and a banana.

1. Butter one side of one slice of white bread and slather the other side with peanut butter.
2. Put the white bread butter-side down in the frying pan.
3. Layer banana slices on top of the peanut butter (some people do little banana medallions, but I prefer to cut the banana lengthwise down the middle, which should allow you to put three long slices of banana halves across the bread).
4. Put more Jif on the second slice of bread, and lay it on top of the banana slices.
5. Once the first piece of bread is browned, pick up the sandwich with your spatula.
6. Throw some more butter in the pan and let it sizzle.
7. Flip the untried side of the sandwich down into the sizzling butter.
8. When the Jif starts to melt out of the sides of the sandwich, you’re done.
9. Have this with a glass of milk.