1. With a little batting, white doilies make excellent stand-up collars
2. White horses can swim in frigid, choppy waters
3. Wind machines make diaphanous capes flutter
4. King Philip of Spain was a religious fanatic who kicked the bucket 10 years after driving Spain to bankruptcy in an attempt to fund his foolish and ill-advised military advances. George W. Bush is a lot like King Philip.
5. Clive Owen is a major hottie-pants, even when he’s saying crap like, “I know of only one world, one life, and in this world and this life, I have loved you, my queen.”