Questionable poetry in the news on two fronts these days:

1. Ayman al-Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden’s second mate, can be heard reciting poetry to inspire his disciples on an audiotape that’s been making the rounds of terrorist websites. The title of the poem apparently translates as “Tears in the Eyes of Time.” Hmmm, has he been spinning a few too many Simple Minds records? Perhaps Tears for Fears?

2. Meanwhile, FEMA for kids prepares younguns for disasters, natural and otherwise, with this spiffy rap:

“Disaster . . . it can happen anywhere,
But we’ve got a few tips, so you can be prepared,
For floods, tornadoes, or even a ‘quake,
You’ve got to be ready — so your heart don’t break.”

Who’s writing this stuff? Mike Brown? Or is George W. penning his rap opus at the ranch, a little something for us to remember him by in the absence of any notable presidential achievements? Maybe it’s Ashcroft’s doing, a behind-the-scenes approach to wielding influence over young, impressionable minds. Hey, could we get Billy Collins in the house? Not evenElaine Bennis would stoop this low.